Indy Cars, Snuggie Vests, and Sweet Potatoes

Two weekends ago we enjoyed our annual Indy Car race.  My wonderful hometown had the pleasure of once again hosting the opening race for the 2013 Izod Indy Car season.  This was A’s second race and, in my humble opinion, it went even better than last year.  Granted, A’s vocabulary is at least 10 times what it was this time last year, but she actually ate without a fuss this year.  Yes, we were away from home and she still ate well.  That never happens, even eating outside at home can throw this child off, but she ate surrounded by noisy cars zipping past.  Turns out the cars were the explanation.  For a child who has auditory sensitivity issues, the sound of the Indy car engines has a calming effect on A.  I cannot even begin to explain it, but I’m not about to argue with it!

As usual, I had packed food for the day that I knew A would eat (mostly yogurt and other “squeezie” foods), but she surprised me by munching on mini Nilla Wafers, bread (from my sandwich), and chips (her brother’s).  She didn’t ask for the yogurt, she wanted the “chewy” foods (i.e. – stuff that actually requires chewing).  That is such a change from her usual M.O. that I almost couldn’t believe it.  Almost.  Needless to say, this opens up a few more possibilities for local excursions.

A has made remarkable progress in the past month.  Since race weekend her speech has exploded.  It has been amazing listening to her and realizing that not only can I understand her, but others can as well.  I cannot even begin to describe how exciting it is.  Honestly, unless you have the “been there, done that” shirt it’s hard to explain.  The most remarkable bit of progress came just this past week though.  A took 10, yes 10, bites of mashed sweet potatoes.  Granted, they were “ant bites” (what we call really small bites), but she took them without a fuss or gag!

The cause for this sudden progress?  Her “snuggie” vest.  In therapy we have been using a SPIO vest on A with amazing results.  She calms down and can tolerate sensory input much better when she is wearing the vest.

Quick explanation for the confused.  A SPIO vest is a compression vest that provides the deep pressure and sensory feedback that help with body awareness.  More info can be found at www.spioworks.com

Unfortunately, the day that we are able to use the SPIO does not coincide with her feeding therapy so we had not been able to see if it had any effect in that area.  A’s PT had recommended that we look for either a swim suit or a leotard one size smaller than A’s normal size.  It would provide feedback similar to the SPIO (at a much lower price).  After much searching, I stumbled upon a 2 piece swimsuit whose top worked perfectly.  A has been wearing the top during the day since Thursday morning, and we have seen an amazing difference.

That night she sat at the table without a fuss, ate everything on her plate (peanut butter sandwich, applesauce, yogurt, and goldfish), and took the 10 “ant bites” of sweet potato in between her other bites.  You could have knocked me over with a feather by the end of the meal. I could not believe the difference.  That Thursday night was the first night we had been able to sit through a meal without A fussing, throwing something, or refusing to eat.  It was beyond amazing to realize that she managed to sit at the table for 30 minutes straight and eat without a fuss.  Yes, I did have to distract her a bit when it came to the sweet potato bites, but she didn’t shut down and refuse to eat after taking a bite.

Even more amazing was that after dinner, she sat and colored with her brother and I was hearing her use full sentences with G when she needed his help with a marker or wanted him to shift over some.  There was no screaming or hitting or crying.  I still cannot believe the difference that one little size 18 month (yes, she is that small that I had to go down 2 sizes to find the right snug fit) swim top has made for A.

I have to admit to being almost giddy and weepy at the same time when I think about the difference this has made for A.  I have, in the past 3 days, watched my amazing little girl cope with the world in a way she has never been able to in the past.  A is now able to go to a playground without clinging to me because the other children overwhelm and scare her.  She is willing to try new foods and happily sits through meals.  Best of all, she is able to tell me when she needs her “snuggie” to help her cope with the world.

I know it’s only been 3 days, and the scientific side of me is screaming that more data is needed before any conclusive determination can be made about it’s effectiveness, but the mommy side of me is screaming “SO WHAT! Look at that happy little girl!”  Yes, the mommy side is winning out right now.  I know what I see and I couldn’t be prouder of A right now and how far she has come.  She continues to amaze me everyday with how bravely she faces a world that is harsh and unforgiving to her eyes.  A world that sometimes chooses not to understand that nothing is wrong with her, she just sees and feels things differently than everyone else.  Differently, but now with one more drop of hope that she will be able to cope.  After all, to steal a line from Dinotopia, “One raindrop raises the sea.”

March: Madness, Miracles, and Mayhem!

Actually, I probably should have just called this writer’s block.  I am currently suffering from major writer’s block and have a letter that I need to coherently compose and it’s just not working.  So I’m here instead.  Productive, right?

That’s the madness part of the month.  I’m still fighting to get A into a more appropriate setting with the school system and for whatever reason, they just don’t seem to want to listen.  Personally, I no longer care about their reasons, they are attempting to handicap my daughter and I don’t like it.  At least I still have her outside therapy with an amazing team of therapists who helped bring us this far.

And speaking of progress…A has gained 2 pounds since January!  Yes, I am beyond ecstatic about that.  We had a visit with her nutritionist last week and I was rather nervous about how it would go.  Usually, A’s weight gain does not keep pace with her height.  This time, it did.  She has gained enough to put her in the 10th -20th percentile for her BMI, plus, she grew an inch!  I am over the moon and beyond right now.

A has worked so hard and has been eating so well since mid-February I knew she had grown some (the too small pants were my first clue…) but I did not expect a 2 pound increase.  Especially since she lost some weight with the school drama.  She’s doing so well that we are off the DuoCal, down to 1 Pediasure a day (sometimes less), and, best of all, we may be done with nutritional services by mid July if she can keep it up!!

A’s diet has not changed much during this time, but her tolerance for solids has definitely increased.  We have been working with sweet potatoes in both OT and feeding therapy.  In OT she gets to play with her food and in feeding we work on eating the food.  Working with both has greatly decreased her resistance to the potatoes.

Translation:  She no longer screams when you put potatoes in front of her or ask her to touch them.  Major progress.

In the meantime, A is babbling non-stop now and is making great progress with her gross motor skills.  It’s amazing the difference that little bit of weight made for her development and it’s so exciting that she’s finally catching up.

I know she’ll still have bad days and we’ll still have struggles.  Let’s face it, she ate great today, after trying to throw half her breakfast on the floor and partially succeeding (that would be the mayhem).  Yeah, it won’t be easy, but definitely totally worth it.

Now if I could only write that letter this easily…

An Open Letter to School District Administration Personnel

Dear School District Administration Personnel,

Let me start this by stating that I understand that you have a difficult job.  There are few of you and many students with many different issues.  I understand there are certain rules in place to help things flow smoothly and that, at times, you follow as though they are written in stone.  But even stone must change with time.

I recently went through the IEP process with my daughter who is 3.  She lives with Sensory Integration Dysfunction (or disorder, if you prefer).  Diagnosed at 15 months and in therapy since she was 13 months old, she has come a long way but still has a long way to go.

During the course of evaluations and subsequent reports, the evaluators did their best to put together a “snapshot” of my child and her needs.  Regrettably, it fell short.  When we came to the IEP meeting, all the districts specialists who had been in contact with my daughter were there and were prepared, as I was, to put together an education plan to help my daughter succeed.    Unfortunately, I felt that they chose to ignore or brush aside their most valuable asset when it came to my child’s needs.  Me.

Yes, I know my child better than anyone.  I have spent countless hours working with her at home and in therapy.  I am constantly inventing new ways to work with her and to help her learn to cope with the world around her.  I have held her as she cried for no apparent reason and cheered her many tries and accomplishments as she has grown.  I have guided her through her ups and downs and gave her the words and tools she needed to learn, cope, and grow.

I am her mother, but I am also her best and only advocate.  I will not sit meekly by and accept that someone else, based on a snapshot report, can accurately know my child.  Even her therapists that have been working with her for almost 2 years now ask for and listen to my input.

I will not be brushed aside in favor of one size fits all rules and guidelines.  We are all different, some more so than others.  My daughter may be speech impaired, but it is because of motor planning difficulties which are a result of the sensory dysfunction which impacts her interactions with the rest of the world around her, including her peers.  It is time to look at the whole child, not just the parts.

My daughter has a right to a free and appropriate public education and I will not let you handicap her by ignoring her needs and rights under IDEA.

Yes, I am angry.  Yes, I feel stone-walled, ignored, and brushed aside.  But I will not allow it to continue.  I know I am not the only one out there who feels marginalized by the system.  Maybe no one else has, but I am and I will continue to stand up and make my voice heard.

Sincerely,

An Active, Involved, and Concerned Parent

School Districts, IEPs, Stress, & Peanut Butter Toast

Yep, I’m at it again with my bizarre connections.  Don’t worry, it will all become clear sooner or later.

A lasted only a few weeks in her pre-k class before it became glaringly apparent that she was not in the most appropriate setting for her needs.  She was becoming so stressed out at school that she began regressing at an alarming rate.  My sweet little girl was no longer making eye contact, threw tantrums at the drop of a hat, and refused to eat.  I gave it time, but when she started refusing the Pediasure I knew I couldn’t wait around any more.

I went the normal route of speaking to the teacher, who informed me that another staff member had questioned my daughter being in the class given the nature of her needs and that she, herself, was not comfortable handling some of A’s issues.

Before I go further I do want to clarify one major point.  I do not in any way, shape, or form blame the classroom teacher.  A’s teacher is a wonderful teacher/SLP who handles her class beautifully and is very good at what she does.  Unfortunately, she was not set up or trained to handle a child like mine.  Too often teachers take the blame when, in reality, the fault lies higher up the chain of command.  Now off the soapbox and back to where we were.

A few phone calls and in person chats later I felt completely stone-walled.  For some reason the higher ups in the district seemed to feel that their “snapshot” of my child gave them more knowledge than me and therefore they were better equipped to judge what was best for my daughter.

Yes, this would be where the stress part comes in.  Trying to get these folks to understand that even though my child was not a screaming wreck at school she was having issues.  After all, she came home every day she was there with a bloody lip and fingers from picking.  A didn’t feel safe enough to fall apart in the room so instead, she would withdraw, shut down, and pick (or bite) her lip until it was bloody.  Somehow, that never got noticed, even when I pointed it out.  Finally, after two weeks of rattling cages I think I am finally beginning to get somewhere.  I think what finally got through was when I pulled her from the class and explained to the principal and assistant principal in person, and over the phone to the district, was that A was not in a safe environment and I could not sit by and wait for them to do something.  Her needs were not being met and as her mother and her best advocate I was going to make sure that someone listened and took the necessary steps to correct the situation.

Oddly enough, it seemed to work.  We are now in “negotiations” with the district and hopefully a resolution will soon follow.  For now, they want to place her as an itinerant student.  Basically, that means that I will take her to the school a couple of days each week for her speech and PT .  This will allow the district to re-open her IEP and amend it to reflect any necessary accommodations that A would require to be successful within the classroom setting.  Of course, that could take the next 3 months, but it’s a step in the right direction and people are finally listening so I’ll take it!

Through these past two weeks, I’ve been working hard to get A back to where she was before all of this.  Happily, within one week of being home full-time again, her eye contact returned and the tantrums diminished (much to her brother’s relief I might add).  She is still struggling with food but is back to drinking the Pediasure so she’s at least getting something in her.  Thankfully, an answer to the eternal question (at least for this household), “What solid, with a decent calorie count, will you eat?” popped up tonight in the form of peanut butter toast.

Yes, good old, plain and simple peanut butter toast won the what will you eat for dinner lottery.  In fact, it was such a big winner that she ate almost 2 whole pieces along with her 3oz of yogurt, Pediasure, lemonade, and a cookie.  I suppose I should have thought of it sooner since she’s eaten it before, but it had fallen out of rotation during one of her brief regressions and I forgot all about it.

Then again…given how much peanut butter toast I ate when I was pregnant maybe it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise that she does really like it.  Oh well, we’ll never know.  I’m just glad she ate a decent amount today and seems to be doing better.   At this rate I might just get to try out a few new recipes I’ve found before the summer heat gets here and really kills my urge to cook and bake.  Guess I’d better freeze some of those homemade chocolate graham crackers (http://weelicious.com/2012/04/09/chocolate-graham-crackers/)before that happens!

New Year, New Milestones, New IEP

Milestones is such a loaded word.  Although, everytime I hear it I can’t help but think of the old (talking Roman Empire old), literal milestones that marked off the distance between two (sometimes more) points along the road.  In our case, however, the milestones are figurative but the exhaustion real.

I have been wanting to sit down and write for awhile now, unfortunately falling asleep roughly 30 minutes after the kids are in bed is not conducive to writing.  We spent the first two weeks of this month getting back into school/therapy routine only to have it smashed to bits with IEP meetings and other oddball appointments.  Meltdowns were frequent and sleep was rare.  Generally not a fun time.

I think the IEP meeting was the worst.  Never attend one of those with a migrane, it only makes it worse. Two, yes 2, hours of going over reports and making decisions based on their short term observations of my child.  All to get a plan for how a classroom teacher should handle her, what accommodations she needs, and what classroom setting will be best for A.  I am so thankful that I made a point of learning as much as I could about A’s issues and the acronyms/jargon relating to it because I think they used it all in those two hours.

Speaking of acronyms and jargon, I guess I should explain an IEP.  In our school district (which needs its own IEP for a severe communication deficit), it stands for Individual Education Plan and is used for students that need to have extra services.  In our case that’s speech and physical therapy with an OT option (sounds like a McDonald’s value meal – “I’ll have an SLP and a PT please.” “Would you like OT with that?”).  It can also apply to children in a gifted program as well.  All IEPs are handled by the ESE (Exceptional Student Education) department.   And yes, they all love their acronyms.

The upshot of all of this is that it was decided that A would receive speech and physical therapy during the morning in a pre-k setting with the option for occupational therapy to be add on later if the teacher felt there was a need for it.  The downside of all this is that the half-day class they placed her in is not at the same school my son attends.  The upside is that her school is only about 5 minutes from his, making it a bit more manageable.

This was A’s first week there.  She celebrated her birthday by spending the morning at school and the afternoon at therapy.  Poor baby was completely wiped out by 4pm.  She did have enough energy to blow out her candles and eat a bit of cupcake though.

Now, before anyone gets their knickers in a knot about sending a 3yr old with her issues off to preschool and how it just doesn’t seem right, hear me out.  A is an amazing and frequently difficult little girl.  She is quite smart and creative and intensely curious when her sensory issues don’t get in her way.  While I have done my best to provide a rich home life for her (and her brother) there are some experiences that I just cannot duplicate.  This was not done on a whim.  I spent many sleepless nights wondering if it was the right thing, wondering if it was too soon to place her in a structured classroom setting, and wondering if she would be able to cope with the busyness of a classroom with ten other preschool aged children.  Sure, she can self regulate pretty well at home, but how would it work at school when she couldn’t go hide in her room or under her blanket when things got to be too much?  Would she bite another child?  Would she try to spend the day hidden underneath something?  Would she eat?  Would the teacher and aide be equipped to handle a child with A’s issues?  Al those questions, along with a hundred thousand other questions danced ceaselessly though my head day and night.  Honestly, even though I chose to go ahead and try it, as I left A’s classroom on her first day I still wasn’t sure if I had made the correct decision or not.

Thankfully, so far, school seems to be working out for A.  She likes her teacher and has fun.  She even played in the sand table and swung on the swings voluntarily (I did have to ask her teacher if she was sure that was my child we were talking about).  She looks forward to going and is a bit put out on the days she doesn’t go (program is a mornings only 4 day a week program).  A has had some spectacular meltdowns after school, but I’m hoping those will diminish as we get the hang of this routine addition.

There is one big plus to A being in school 4 mornings a week.  I get “me time” a couple of mornings a week now.  I decided to make the most of it and hit up the beautiful city park that is very close to the school.  Besides having a beautiful walking/running/biking path around the lake, it has a free outdoor gym thoughtfully provided by the city.  It’s amazing what an hour of outdoor exercise, with a few minutes of bald eagle watching thrown in (the park has a nesting pair in residence currently), can do for your stress level.

I never realized just how exhausting taking care of her was until I had that little bit of free time.  It’s not like leaving the kids with grandparents or other family for the day to go do something.  It’s knowing that A is getting the therapy and structure and interaction she needs while I am able to get the downtime I need and it’s regular.  I like knowing that no matter how bad a week might be, I will definitely be able to get at least 2 days where I have a little bit of the morning to recharge my batteries. 

Things are never black and white when it comes to these kinds of decisions.  It’s hard with neuro-typical kids but harder when there are extra issues to consider.  I’m still learning that sometimes you have to just hold your breath, cross your fingers, arms, legs, and hairs and jump.  Sometimes things will turn out fine, other times, well let’s just say other times you’re wishing for a stunt double.  Until then, I’ll be the glassy-eyed parent wearing a helmet!

Christmas In Finicky Feeding Land!

Yes, I know.  Technically, Christmas day was 5 days ago, but I’m one of those who likes to celebrate the full 12 days of Christmas.  And my kids don’t mind too much either.   I think it’s because of the music and the food.  After all, this is a season of amazingly good (and rich) food, and there is nothing easier to get a kid to eat than a cookie they helped to make.  Especially when you’re dancing to music while you bake.

Yes, it’s true, I let A help me with our Christmas cookies this year.  Crazy? Probably.  Worth it? Definitely.

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She touched it!

Let’s face it, you don’t get much more sensory intensive than mixing, rolling, and sprinkling cookie dough.  Okay, so she didn’t exactly help with the rolling part, but she did touch the dough and was quite proud of herself for doing so.

She helped squash them with the glass (great for the “heavy work” end of therapy).  Yes, I kept a hand on the cup.  Real glass and tile floors don’t play well together.

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Then it was time for sprinkles.  Who doesn’t love sprinkles?  Great for fine motor skills (hello pincer grasp!) and motor control (on the cookies not the baking sheet if you please!).

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Who knew baking could be so therapeutic?

Of course, she had to find something to amuse herself  for the 12 minutes it took for the cookies to bake and the 15 minutes it took for them to cool.  Thank the Lord for puzzles!

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And, yes, she does those on her own.  I wish I was making that up but my almost 3 year old is rather bright (not parental bias people, I have the assessments to prove it!).

After all that hard work, it’s time for taste testing!  With a nice cup of cold milk of course!

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“Yummy, yummy in tummy!”

Actually, she didn’t eat that cookie.  A decided she wanted gingerbread biscotti instead so she fed her cookie to me.   No complaints here!

What’s that?  She ate biscotti?  My super picky, super sensitive child ate hard, crunchy biscotti?

Yes, yes she did.  Only it wasn’t that hard and crunchy.  And there was white chocolate involved.

It’s a recipe that I found in a Family Fun magazine for kid-friendly, easy to make holiday treats.  And yes, it is actually very easy.  Here’s the link for the recipe: http://www.parents.com/recipe/gingerbread-biscotti/

While traditional Christmas dinner is definitely not A’s cup of tea, I have found ways around that thanks to the variety of seasonal foods that I love to make.  Granted, her Christmas dinner consisted of a GoGo Squeeze (I don’t think I would survive without those), 2 herb rolls (homemade, time consuming, but very yummy), PediaSure, and egg nog.

Yes, egg nog.  We have discovered that A absolutely loves egg nog.  How much?  Well, she guzzles it; and I mean that in the truest sense of the word.  She can down 4oz of the stuff faster than anything (sorry, the analogy portion of my brain has officially shut down for the night).

Her favorite thing though, is “Crumbly Cake.”  It’s actually called Railway Crumb Cake, but crumbly cake was easier for G to say when he was little, so the name stuck.  It is one of the easiest things to make (I’ve been making it since I was about 9 years old) and it is so delicious.  Another bonus is that it makes the house smell wonderful.  Both my kids love helping, both with the making and with the eating.  This has become my family’s traditional Christmas morning breakfast (we use it on Thanksgiving also) just because it is so easy.  It takes about 30-35minutes to bake so you do have to plan ahead it you want it freshly made in the morning, but it is worth it.  I haven’t seen this recipe anywhere since I read it in a Pockets magazine when I was 9 (yes, it was a while ago); so here it is if anyone fancies giving it a go.

2 cups flour (all-purpose)

1 cup sugar

3/4 cup butter

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon ground cloves

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

1 egg

1 cup buttermilk

Combine the flour, sugar, and butter in a large bowl until mixture resembles crumbs.  Set aside 1 cup of this mixture for topping.  To the remainder of the crumbs, add the baking soda, cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg.  Mix well.  Make a well in the center and add the egg and buttermilk.  Stir gently until just combined.  Pour in to a greased 9.5in pie plate and top the 1 cup of crumbs that was set aside at the start.  Bake at 350F for 30-35 minutes or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.  Let cool, then slice and serve.  Serves 8.

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This was ours about 15 minutes after it came out of the oven Christmas morning.  The kids wanted this before they opened their presents.  I’d say it’s because they like it so much (which they do), but I think the real reason is they wanted to be able to play uninterrupted after opening presents.

Suffice it to say, it’s always a big hit and A has actually been eating because of it.  I would make it year round, but for me it really is a Thanksgiving/Christmas time only food.  Guess I’ll just have to hunt down some regular crumb or coffee cake type recipes for the rest of the year!

In the meantime, happy eating and even happier Christmas!

 

 

 

“I’m on Strike!”

Or, “don’t give it to me unless I can eat it through a straw!”

Yes, it’s one of those weeks.  A just doesn’t want to eat unless she can slurp it through a straw.  What’s that?  Yep, it’s the sound of my blender crying.  I don’t think mine will make it to the spring; good thing they go on sale this time of year!

Our family had a very quiet Thanksgiving.  Like most people I talked to, half my household was sick (G and myself being the sick half) and A was just completely out of sorts.  Her brother was not at school when he should be, her therapy schedule was, by her standards, completely upside down and inside out, and nobody was where they were supposed to be when they were supposed to be!  According to her anyhow.

Think my kid likes her routine?

Yes, that was rhetorical.  Moving on.

We have since recovered from the traumatic schedule change and moved on to a semi-traumatic venue change for her weekly therapy.

As of Thanksgiving, the office I had been taking A to for her speech and physical therapy closed.  Thankfully, it was a satellite office so we didn’t have to find all new therapists and the main campus for the hospital is still fairly close to us.  Let’s face it having to drive 10-12 minutes instead of 8-10 minutes is not that big of a deal, especially when it means access to a brand new facility.  Yes, I like that part a lot.

Unfortunately, A didn’t see things that way and was rather bent out of shape at seeing familiar faces where they didn’t belong.   Lucky for me though, it only took her about a week to adjust to having her speech and PT at the main campus instead of just feeding therapy.  OT is supposed to be in there too, but we’re on a waiting list that includes at least half the state I think.  Okay, so maybe not that many people, but it does feel like that some days.

Where was I going with this?

Oh, right, food strike.

Sorry.  This is what exhaustion does to you.  No, really.  It’s actually a miracle I’m still awake right now.  Normally once the kids are in bed I’m falling asleep by 7:45 or 8.  Making it to 8:15 and not dozing is 100% miracle.  Of course, the tornado warning that expired about 10 minutes ago might have something to do with it too.

Back to our story!

So, because of all the upheaval in her little life (and the phase of the moon, height of the tide, and direction of the wind at 3:28am on Saturday), A is not eating again.

Actually, it has more to do with the fact that she is super sensitive right now.  More so than usual.  Her normally hyperactive gag reflex is in over drive right now and even her favorite solids (Grahamfuls, hamburger bun with peanut butter or plain, yogurt) are making her choke right now.

I never thought I’d say this, but thank God for Pediasure.

Since Saturday I have been walking a fine line between making all her meals liquid (giving up for now) and continuing to try the solids.  So far, my logical side has prevailed (scary) and I am still offering her solids at each meal.  Mostly she refuses, but sometimes she gets a bite or two down.  If she starts gagging after that I don’t push it, but I at least want her to keep trying. 

It is not easy.  In fact, you see that point farthest from easy?  That’s where we are at the moment.

We have had some triumphs.  A was really cooperative in feeding therapy today and even managed to eat 1/6 of  of her hamburger bun at dinner along with 1/4 of a Grahamful before she started gagging when the food hit her tongue.

And for those who may ask, “Isn’t that just a behavior thing?”  No, in this case it’s not.  A genuinely hits a point when she cannot tolerate solid food on her tongue.  She tries to take bites, or even nibbles, but she just physically cannot do it and I won’t push her.

Hopefully, she’ll come out of this soon.  If not, it will just force me to get creative and there is nothing wrong with that.   In the mean time, we’ll just do lots of creative art/therapy type projects that result in inexpensive and nifty little Christmas gifts for people.  For how that works out, you’ll just have to stay tuned!

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